Some information that I found interesting from this weeks discussion is as follows:

Men learn better being shoulder to shoulder working side by side.
Women learn better and communicate face to face.

We learn more from our children than we do from our parents

A question that we answered in class was:
What are you going to do as a result of the information you have?

There are many things that we have learned in this class, but the one thing that concerns me the most is the fact that I grew up with my father always being at home, because we had a family farm. I know with my husbands degree that he will be working outside of the home and be gone for the majority of the day. This is something that I have never really been exposed to and something that concerns me a little as I will be raising my children with a lot less influence of their father than I had. I know that I will need to be very careful to always plan family time together, even, and especially when life gets very busy. I want work not to be a chore, but something that we all can do together and learn to grow and understand each other better because of it. This class has been a great opportunity for me to take what I have been concerned about and find solutions for the problem. We emphasized in class how important it is for us not to use work as punishments, and now looking back on my childhood I can see that my mother was very careful to use alternate ways to punish her child. For example she would have us be punished by having to sit alone and having nothing to do. In a way I have found this to be a very valuable skill that I have gained because of it. I am always striving to accomplish everything that I can because do not enjoy doing nothing. I find work to be fun and very rewarding.

This week we discusses communication and the effect it can have on our relationships not only with our families but with our friends and coworkers. First of all there are two different types of communication, verbal and non verbal. We discussed how much of an impact each of these has on our daily conversations.

Verbal:                                    
 - Words                     14%                      
 - Tones                      35%                  
Nonverbal:                                    
 - Body Language       51%

Every word is a code for something and the way we interpret those words are very different, and we find that body language is the most influential to us when we are having a conversation. When someone is saying something with their mouth, and saying something completely different with their actions, we are much more likely to believe what they are saying with their actions.

We had some great discussions this week in class. First of all we discussed the ABC-X model, which is as follows:

A - Actual Event
B - Behavioral Response (Physical)
C - Cognition (Mental Emotions)
X - Total Experience

We then discussed a different way to think of the word responsibility when pertaining to you being responsible for your actions in the case of abuse.

RESPONSE - ABILITY

There are three things that we should make sure that everyone that has been abused knows, according to the book, "Sex, Love, and Violence."

When someone has been abused
1. Not their fault
2. Evil is always stupid
3. Their spirit was hurt

Does the proposal matter?
Does the wedding matter?
Why/How Why/How not?

These were some of the questions we were asked this week during our discussion in class. At first I didn't think it really mattered if you had some big or special proposal and extravagant wedding, through our discussion I have learned what is ideal and what we should watch out for. When the guy proposes it a big extravagant way, in front of a large group of people, it can make the girl feel pressured to say yes even if she really doesn't feel like she is ready for marriage. When he asks the girl in a quiet private setting, if there are any concerns the couple are much more likely to talk about some of them, instead of just jumping into a situation that they aren't ready for.

We talked about what makes the wedding what it is. The wedding doesn't have to be a huge ordeal, you can have a very nice little reception. The purpose of a reception is for the community to receive the new couple as husband and wife, and not for the couple to provide this elaborate party for all the guests to attend. it is amazing how much of this concept has been skewed over the years. We have lost sight of what getting married is all about, and it has turned into a huge ordeal to impress those who should be accepting us for who we really are.

This week we have had a great discussion about how the relationship between the husband and wife changes when the children are born. It has been shown that marital satisfaction decreases just weeks after the baby is born. This could be because.

wife/mother is preoccupied with the child
reduced communication (both emotional and instrumental)
perceived agreement is decreased
the wife can be more critical of her husband
intimacy levels go down
less emotionally fulfilling communication

You need to be as much concerned about your spouse as you are yourself. This will help you to be closer to each other during these challenges.